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This Board has been very slow in the past few months - please feel free to post or share any concerns you have regarding your IF struggle. Wishing each of you health, compassion, and a growing family in 2009 - best Liz
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Hi Liz,
Do you have any suggestions on how to gracefully decline invitations to events like baby showers or where there will be lots of pregnant women attending? There are currently 4 pregnant women in my office, and in addition, one just came back from maternity leave and another just went out on maternity leave. Not very many people in my office know what I'm going through and far fewer understand because they have not had IF. And in addition to that, one of my good friends is 8 months pregnant; I had planned on going to her shower but at the last minute cancelled out because it was too much to bear. I just can't be around all that, it makes me very sad, and I feel bad for continually making excuses not to go to events. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
-Annette -
Regret for Showers
Hi Annette:
I am not sure why I am receiving the notification of posts a little late - I am in the UK at the moment but check e-mail daily, so I aplogize if I am getting back to you a few later than expected. The shower invitiations are always a tough dilemma and I think that it is imortant, as you have, that you respect how you feel you can manage requests to attend. The most grateful way to decline is with a note and small gift. I don't believe you have to offer anything more in the way of an explanation other than, "...I am sorry that I will be unable to attend". A kind note wishing a healthy delivery is enough. You can add a little more depending upon how familiar you are with the person.
Your best friend you might want to offer more infromation to as I assume she knows something about your IF (I would hope so if she is your best friend). If she doesn't then the potential for hurt feelings is high if you don't attend her shower - I encourage people to have an honest conversation with her about how hard it is for you to be a participant in a group acitivity where the focus is on something that causes you tremendous grief. That way you can let her know that you wish her well privately but that you do not have the reilience at the moment to be in an environemnt where you feel so exposed - hope this helps? Best LizComment
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