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Nevermind 
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Original message
In response to your original message - I appreciate that you seem to have a tremendous amount going on at the moment, more than an on-line Board such as this can do justice. I noticed that your post is down and you apologized however, I would encourage you to see some direct face-to-face support to explore the issues that you raised - although your question may have been posed in desperation or frustration these are clearly major struggles that it would be beneficial to seek help deconstructing - my best wishes to you on the next part of your journey Liz
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