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Beginning the Journey

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  • Beginning the Journey

    My husband and I just got our official infertility diagnosis on Tuesday of last week. I have been struggling to hold it together, of course there have been a lot of tears. Along with the rush of emotions, I have been worrying about telling my parents and my in-laws the news. I just looking for some guidance for someone beginning this journey. Thanks.

  • #2
    New to IF

    Hi THere - I would encourage you to take some time to process this information for yourselves. It can take a significant toll on you, as you have discovered, and will require you to understand not only the medical impact of what you have heard but also the social, emotional, sexual, and cultural effects. The initial feelings might be sadness followed by a sense of injustice and often other people, in an effort to help, will offer suggestions that generate even more distress in you. It is wise to have a sense of all the ways in which you might be hearing and ultimately understanding your personal circustances before you begin to share it - even with family members. My suggestion would be to find a Resolve group in your area, and or ask the RE who gave you your diagnosis whether they have a support group or a mental health professional who can sit with you for a session and help you to answer some of your questions.

    Also - you might even consider making a list of questions and then going back to see your doctor for clarification. I am not sure what the details of your IF diagnosis is - perhaps you have many options that you have not considered yet simply because you are too early in the journey. People in your situation become very effective consumers of health care very quickly and learn how to advocate for their particular problem. This is all part of the process in having as much information as possible. Perhaps will post their suggestions here also. Seeking objective support at this stage is very, very helpful.

    Best regards Liz O'Donnell, PhD


    • #3
      I can relate to getting the devastating news of "infertility". I have never even considered the idea until my diagnosis. It is a saddening news, especially when you have always dream of having your own children. I wish you the best of luck!


      • #4
        dont lose hope

        keep your chin up, there is always a way!


        • #5
          My husband and I are trying to figure out how to cope with the hopelessness feeling right now. We have recently begun the IVF process by meeting with my doctors. We are beginning to feel more hopeless now than ever, because we are realizing the cost far exceeds what we can afford. Explaining to others why we are not having children is heart-breaking. How have others dealt with the feeling of being so lost?


          • #6
            I am sorry you are feeling hopeless - so many people feel this way - The cost can seem daunting - have you investigated the INCIID IVF Scholarship - the FAQ is here.


            • #7
              We did look into the scholarship, however we have not been diagnosed as inferile. We want to do IVF because I have a genetic disorder that I will pass onto our children. PGD and IVF is the only way to overcome this obstacle. My doctor is also not being cooperative. I asked him to write a letter for us to apply for grants and scholarships and he said my records should be "good enough". It's been a frustrating and sad journey so far. But thank you for your suggestion.


              • #8
                All the committee needs is a letter saying why you need IVF. I would suggest you write a letter (formal letter) as to why he is recommending IVF - so you can get a reply telling you EXACTLY why he is recommending IVF. Sometimes doctors won't recommend a treatment if they don't do it or if they aren't going to be the one doing the procedure - because the money doesn't come to them.

                The are a variety of different scenarios that the scholarship committee looks at - including a situation like yours.