Feelings of Failure

[LindaG]

Hi all! My husband and I have been ttc for 3 years. I have PCOS and only one tube. My husband doesn't have any fertility issues. He is 38 and I'm 37. We are INCIID the Heart Scholarship Recepients and are in the process of being matched. We also are in the process of becoming foster parents in the hopes of adopting. We were supposed to be approved by December 2010. But, there is a problem with some of our paperwork and it has been delayed.

I struggle with feelings of failure as a woman. I try to be upbeat and focus on other things. But, those feelings lurk in the back of my head all the time. Even to the point that I think my husband would be better off without me. I feel alone alot and wonder if its just me or others feel this way. Also, if others do feel the same, how do you cope?

[Annette]

You are definitely not alone!

I know I have had those exact feelings before. I think most people who go through infertility have similar thoughts at some point. In a world that puts much emphasis on families and children, when you are not able to have those, it can really feel like you are an outsider of a special elite club. Like no one can relate to what you are going through and what you want so badly comes so easily to other people. That's why I love INCIID, because it's the one place I can come to and people understand

My way of coping with everything, well there's a few things I do. One is to think of the things that I'm really good at or really positive attributes about myself and it tends to lift my spirits. Another thing I do is tell myself this is only temporary because at some point there will be a resolution, whatever that may be (my own baby, adoption, fostering, etc.). Sometimes I just make myself work on something so I don't have the chatter going on in my brain, it's usually something requiring a lot of brain power like a crossword puzzle or something I can do with my hands like crafts.

Hugs to you!!

[LindaG]

I am so thankful for INCIID and everyone here that is soooo supportive. Thanks Annette for your very kind words. I am trying to keep my chin up. Some days are easier than others.

[shatina242003]

Feelings

There was a time were I was sad everyday and when my cycle came after hoping that conception had happened I was almost close to depression. I cried so much and my work started to be affected. Somethings have gotten better while other things remained the same. I do not believe that I am a failure but I do still get said especially when people start posting sonograms on facebook. I have gone as far as deleting people becasue of their baby pics. My husband wants kids to and I do not think that he knows how badly me not getting pregnant has and is affecting me. I think with prayer and support from my husband, mom, and sister telling me that I will be a mother and a great one keeps me going and positive.

[cassie]

Hello Everyone,

I am new here and in the process of hopefully being a scholarship member. Hubby and I have only been ttc'ing for a little over a year, but the heart ache is all the same, Im 27 years old and childless, my hubby is 37 I suffer from elevated fsh levels and a low egg reserve. I pray that this is our chance to have our little family that we have wanted .. the communitys that are out there for ttc'ing is very inspirational and amazing , have help me so much.... we have done 2 failed IUI's one medicated and induced ovulation.. we need an ivf to be successful in our journey of ttcing ..

[Tiki]

Welcome Cassie. This is a wonderful community eager to share information and knowledge.

[cassie]

Welcome Cassie. This is a wonderful community eager to share information and knowledge.

Thanks TIKI for the welcome. I have some amazing support groups on facebook and this is ANOTHER wonderful community ive heard some great things and you can never have enough support when dealing with infertility, it is definately one of the hardest things that we will EVER have to overcome! can I ask tiki, your a scholarship recieptient?