October 1 2009

[WasTarin]

I will start reporting in daily, starting tomorrow.

I need my virtual training buddies back.

[frits]

I'm in! My goal(s) inside ... long, sorry

Eat better and exercise more.

Lose 5 lbs. per month over the next three months, then 2 lbs. per month over the next 5 or 6 months.

Doable? I actually think so ... I have a potential big hurdle, though, that I'm not sure how to deal with.

Will try to make long story short.

My mom passed away six years ago, and I immediately went to counseling b/c I feared the negative effect that my grief (on top of losing my dad two years earlier) would have on my marriage. My DH doesn't really know how to support me emotionally--he doesn't like to see me suffer, but neither does he feel comfortable being there for me, KWIM? Anyway I ended up gaining a lot of weight--35 lbs. (when I should have been going the other direction for say 10 lbs.)

Later I was able to look back on the situation and realize (on my own) w/absolute clarity that the reason I gained weight at this time was to safeguard my marriage. I did it to deflect male attention at a time when male attention could possibly have filled the gap created my DH's inability to deal w/my grief.

I have lost some of this weight--I was actually down the 35 lbs at the end of last year, but I gained back 15 lbs. this year after I went back to work full-time in Jan. I know how to lose weight, and I def. want to.

Something I have been aware of lately, though, is something I know I'll have to deal with mentally and process somehow, and I don't have the first clue how to go about this.

This is the deal. One of the guys I work with is (IMO) very flirtatious w/me. He is one of my boss's best buddies at work, so he is always around. When I first started this job in Jan., I thought he was standoffish, but he isn't--he's just quiet and reserved (he describes himself this way). He is 38, so a bit younger than me, and a never-married not-currently-dating bachelor. Very smart, good-looking.

My problem is that after he winks at me, or sticks his tongue out at me, or leans down and virtually whispers "Happy Birthday" to me (the other day), etc.---it makes me want to down handfuls of peanut M&M's. I am able to see this impulse for what it is--somewhere deep down, I believe that being overweight would protect me from this kind of thing.

I don't want to be overweight; I want to be strong and fit. I also want to be confident in my ability to protect *myself* from this kind of thing, but clearly I have never learned how to do this.

I realize this could generate lots of questions. This co-worker and I don't know each other all that well (we're both on the quiet side, to be honest). But I do feel uncomfortable with the inordinate amount of attention he gives me, all things considered. For ex. one day we were all sitting around talking and somebody said something about dancing and he said "I want to go out dancing w/(my name) sometime." Which of course I blew off. Last night my boss and a few other co-workers got together for a beer after work; I went straight home b/c I knew this guy would be there and I don't think it's smart for me to socialize w/him, even with other people around. I have to be friendly w/him and get along with him, and I actually *want* to be friendly w/him and get along w/him---to a point. But for ex. one day last week after everyone else in the office had gone, he came up to my desk for the last 1/2 hour of the day just to chat .... ugh. I do try to talk about my DH when the conversation allows--how we grew up together since 3rd grade, etc.

Sorry this is so long ... where are those peanut M&M's when you need them?!

[BonnieV]

thanks for sharing..

I find venting my feelings help me stay away from overeating emotionally.

I've been consistantly exercising 5-6 days a week since the beginning of June. In fact, I am running my first 5K on sunday!!!!

That said, I still have 30 pounds to take off. I had set my "start date" to October 1st and here we are. For now, my only "rules" are going to be no white sugar and no white flour. Hopefully weight will come off without a lot of weighing and measuring. I'm also writing down everything I eat.

Good Luck! I'll tryi to check in daily.

Bonnie

[lemonjen]

Normally I lurk but I am here and need support (children ment)

So here I am. I am doing WW and have lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks and am thrilled with this. My first goal was to lose 15 pounds by my birthday, Oct 30 so I believe I can make this goal and possibly surpass it by a little! How's that for positive thoughts? Anyway, I just bought Jillian Michaels 30-day shred. I want to start that ASAP but just can't find the right time for to claim as my exercise time.


The biggest problem for me is stress eating. Our 4yo ds had a brain tumor removed in April '08 and he has never been the same and will never be the same. Our days are consumed with IU preschool, private PT, OT, ST, swimming, doctor's appts, pyschiatric appts, and now we are starting case management so clincians and caseworkers will be in our home weekly, daily, etc. We also have 2 dd's. So I eat to cope. Cope with our new normal, our new son, the stresses of almost losing ds, and how to deal with his behavior. But not anymore. I would like to lose 50 pounds but like I said my goal is 15 by Oct 30.

So glad you started this again, WasTarin.

Jen

[lemonjen]

Stress Eating is my biggest problem. Sorry you are dealing with all of this stuff especially at work. That has to be so very hard to have to be friendly but feel uncomfortable by his actions. I don't even know what to say other than vent away and use us as support.

Jen

[fatcat]

I'm in... again, as usual, LOL!

I've been going back to WW. I consider myself to have "maintained" for the past 4+ years, but I have yo-yoed a bit over/under my goal in that time. Beginning of summer I was 7 pounds over goal. I am now at goal, BUT, I tried to stay 5 pounds under goal and always wanted to be 10 pounds under... so a few weeks ago I asked WW to change my goal to lower. It means I'm paying for meetings, but I don't care and I want it to motivate me to get serious and really, truly get those 10 pounds off.

As for exercise, that is easy for me and there is more stuff that I want to do than I have time to do in one day. I tried a class today at the Y I belong to, but I was frankly disappointed at how easy it was and how bad the instructor's form was! I also tried his boot camp class last week - it was lame. I hated that he wouldn't tell me specifically what we'd be doing - he just said, "Oh, some strength for upper body." If I knew what specifically, I can pick the right weight... but since I had no idea what his routine was going to be, I had 5 pound weights (they have a piss-poor selection anyway) so I might as well have been lifting a bag of feathers over my head. 5 pounds is fine for lots of reps on bicep curls, but if you're doing upright rows right after that, I could quadruple the weight -- dumb, dumb, dumb workout routine if you ask me. No one in the class was particularly motivating to work out with. I also belong to another gym... so I guess I've confirmed what I already suspected: that the other gym's classes are better.

sorry so long!!