Not looking good for my FET...

[Levana]

I was just in touch with my clinic about my embryos because the transfer is/was supposed to be tomorrow. It sounds like they defrosted both vials (each had two embryos) and according to the nurse I spoke with, they don't look good. She wouldn't even set a time for me to come for a transfer -- she said to call tomorrow morning at 7:30am and they'll be in touch with the lab to see how the embies are doing and then tell me whether to come in or not.

I really didn't think about this scenario happening. I knew that I may not get pregnant after the transfer but it didn't even occur to me that there may not be a transfer at all. I hope those little embies are fighters.

I'm sad.
Levana

[Annette]

It's not over till it's over! It's crazy how situations come up that you would never dream of. Like I never would have imagined that I would only end up with one embryo and nothing to freeze this past cycle. Hang in there, I know you are probably beside yourself with worry right now but just know that we're here for you and hoping for the best

[Levana]

Thanks Annette. I think I will most likely have the transfer because they wouldn't discard the embies unless they were really dead, right? But I definitely don't have a good feeling about the cycle at all. And they defrosted everything so there is no second chance for this. :-(

I'll update in the morning when I know more.

Levana

[aandp]

It's not over until it's over...

Levana -

I'm soooo sorry that they don't look good. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking thinking you have these guys waiting for you...to find out that they can't survive the thaw. I've been there. I'm so sorry.

Do you feel like you had an emotional attachment to these totcicles? You could always choose to transfer them anyways, even if they aren't looking great. It's not over until it's over.

I hate this whole IF thing. Thinking of you! Let us know how you are.
Patti

[Annette]

Yes please let us know how things are going as soon as you are able.

[Levana]

Thanks for the support, everyone. We ended up transferring two embryos and according to the doctor, both were poor quality. But the other two apparently weren't even worth transferring.

The transfer itself was not fun at all - much worse than I remember from last time. First off all, the nurse told me to drink so my bladder was full. When the doctor was trying to get the catheter in, I was positive that I was going to pee all over him. He let me get up and use the bathroom and then come back. :-) But then he had trouble getting the catheter into my uterus so it took a while.

Well, it is over now and the waiting starts...

Levana

[Annette]

Whew! I am so glad you were able to do the transfer Try not to worry about the "poor quality", I have read many stories with positive cycles from embryos that were considered poor quality. When do you go in for your blood test?

My transfer was pretty bad too. My bladder was so full that I couldn't even lay down on the exam table without peeing so I had to "partially empty". I had already gotten undressed so I had to wrap a sheet around me and walk down the hall to the bathroom. Fortunately there weren't any other patients there at the time because it was a Sunday. The actual transfer was very painful for me because my cervix was hard to reach. So I think I would be better prepared in a future attempt.

Anyway, all that's left now is to rest and take care of yourself. Keep thinking good thoughts

[Levana]

You got to wear your own clothes into the transfer? Here it happens in an operating room so I had to wear a hospital robe and my dh had to put disposable "scrubs" over his clothes so that he could come in. Last time my transfer was so much easier so I wasn't expecting this at all. I'm glad to hear that I am not the only one who had to get up to pee! :-) The doctor had already put in the speculum and was trying to get the catheter in but everytime he pressed down on me, I was sure that I was going to pee all over his hands. Your story sounds very funny. I can just see you shuffling down the hallway with a sheet wrapped around you. :-) I think maybe if I ever do this again I'll take a valium before to relax. It might help you too since the transfer was so painful.

Levana

[Annette]

Oh wow, here they just do the transfer in an exam room and you undress from the waist down and put a sheet over your bottom half. My experience was pretty funny though, although I wasn't laughing at the time! LOL

And they actually did give me a valium, I think it was 10 mg but I was still stressed out because of the pain. They mentioned next time giving me more valium. And I definitely will not be drinking that much water next time!

So how are you feeling? Any cramping? Are you on progesterone now?

[aandp]

Cool....

I'm happy that you got to do the transfer. I think with totcicles sitting out there you just need to know for sure. But they did us that crazy things can happy, so try to stay positive about it. But I know it's difficult.

I'm sorry you guys had painful transfers! Yuck! Mine have always been uneventful, but I can't drink the full amount of water. And I can't imagine partially emptying...that would be the end of that! I've never gotten valium either...I'm feeling a little jealous about that!

What did the doctor say about activities now?

[Levana]

I am feeling a bit crampy but nothing too bad. I am still on the estrogen and progesterone and I am supposed to go back in one week to have a bloodtest to monitor those levels. And then I go back a week later (two weeks from now) for the beta test. I already have the HPT in my bathroom. :-)

I wish I had had some valium -- I definitely needed it.

The doctor (not my doctor, just the doc who was on transfer duty this morning) said that I could resume normal activities after one hour of resting in the hospital. He said not to exert myself beyond the norm, but any day to day activity is fine. I'm basically going to stick to that but I did hire a cleaning lady to come on Sunday to prepare for my parents' visit on Monday. Normally I do all housecleaning myself but I figure I deserve a little help now! And I am a bit wary about washing the floors and vaccuming etc. no matter what the doctor said.

[aandp]

I think that sounds great...no need to over do it. I hope you relax and take it easy the next few days and have a great visit with your parents.

And stick, little guys!!!!!!

[Carlaliz]

Hey Levana!

I'm so glad to hear that you were able to do the transfer and that you're home safe and sound. We were 15 min. from the clinic to do the transfer when they told us the embryos didn't survive. It was terrible because we were all geared up and ready to go. I was getting ready to take the valium when they called. I almost did anyway to numb the disappointment...... Anyways, I think it's good that you're still planning on taking it a little bit easier then normal. I would too. I hope that you enjoy your visit with your parents. Please keep us posted. I'll be thinking about you and wishing you all the best!!!!