How to handle this one? Ella is being rough with a baby-

[angeleena]

Hi,
I got this email from Ella's school today. The director has her own 9 month old baby at the school.

Ella wants to play with the baby so much so that she is hurting her and will not stop when asked. argh.

"She really is doing very well these days. She seems happy and responds well to both D** and I, as well as to the children. The only "concern" we have is her interaction with baby F***. She seems to love her "to death". She frerquently does things that could either hurt F*** or just makes her upset. Of course, we're always right there, but often when we tell Ella not to push her head, push on her stomach or pull her leg she does so anyway, almost as if she can't help it. She does it with a smile, which translates to me that she is trying to find a way to play with her and isn't satisfied with our suggestions. If the Ped. has any suggestions on what we can do to help this relationship that might be helpful. Unfortunately, when Ella starts playing with F*** in this way, or does potential harmful things repeatedly, we have to tell her that she can't be around F*** anymore for awhile. She takes this pretty well, though."

Ok, so Ella is 4. She should know better, but she does not. help.

[trek]

but not all 4 year olds understand what gentle is unless they are shown over and over. maybe practice on babydoll? If that does not work, than I bet it is jealously perhaps, and it will have to be dealt with by the teacher.

[jeninnc]

Personally, I would ask them not to allow her to play with the baby at all. It's like they are setting her up for problems. Plus I can see this blossoming into a huge issue if she hurt the baby (unintentionally, of course).

I agree about practicing with a baby doll.

[sugarsue]

It has taken Savanna until this year

at almost age 6 to learn to be gentle with our dog. This is very difficult for her to control herself and it was only because she loved the dog so much and didn't know how her actions felt to the dog. I agree that practicing with a doll and very limited, controlled exposure to the baby and she will learn to be gentle and be just fine.

HUGS.

Susan

[Guest]

Well...

You can remind her that babies can't say if they need space so she be sure not to be too rough with the baby. And I like the idea of practicing with a baby doll - I'm sure she will get it and it's good that the director let you know so you can take care of it.

[JulieATL]

I agree with this.....m

Personally, I would ask them not to allow her to play with the baby at all. It's like they are setting her up for problems. Plus I can see this blossoming into a huge issue if she hurt the baby (unintentionally, of course).

I agree about practicing with a baby doll.

Both practicing with a baby doll for general help in being gentle and knowing how to handle a baby, but also, school/daycare or whatever is not at all an appropriate place for a child, especially a sensory child, to be having so much interactive time with a baby. DD has so many things to learn while she's at school, and obviously handling a baby gently is not something she's learning immediately how to do appropriately, so why keep setting her up for constant negative feedback? And what if she (mistakenly) actually hurt the baby? It would create an awful situation because who's responsible?

If there's any way to have them decrease the time she's playing with the baby, that's the answer.

- Julie

[zoeyz]

This sounds like the school's problem. What are they doing having a 9 month old baby with the 4 year olds? I think the school separating Ella and the baby is fine as long as they are doing it kindly. I don't think she should know better, she's only 4. I know kids older than that that don't know better! I really think they're the ones creating a difficult situation, and they can remedy it. Hugs!!