Reassure me...

[danellsar]

That I'm doing the right thing. Dd is 16, Aspergers and anxiety. I've been trying since she got her first dx at age 8 to get her on an IEP. No go because she's very smart (also GATE in verbal skills).

Well, the sh$t finally hit in 10th grade, and her GPA has dropped from 3.5 to 1.8, so I requested a full assessment for IEP based on "other health impaired". The meeting is this week, and I'm so scared of the outcome. If they say no, it means she gets no help and continues failing classes and can't get into college. The stats out there for autistic adults are attrocious as far as getting help and jobs and etc. On the other hand, if they say yes, then I'm slapping a label on her and maybe cutting her out of classes at the level she really needs (another parent told me her child was taken out of AP classes because they are on an IEP).

On top of it all is my dh who has cancer and is starting chemo may not live to see the outcomes of all this.

I just feel like I'm d@mned if they do and if they don't.
Ellen

[Troy]

I'd rather get real help even if it comes with a label. I know you are facing extraordinary challenges -- is it possible that DD's grades are being affected by the stress at home at this point?

Sending hugs.

[danellsar]

No, her grades have dropped steadily all year. She's failing her algebra class, and getting low C's in several others. This after starting out 9th grade last year with mostly A's and B's. The difference is that now she HAS to take notes and do writing assignments in class, and she can't or won't. Many times she gets marked down because she either didn't do any of the writing in class or she didn't finish it. Many times she comes home and then doesn't really understand how to do her homework (such as math and spanish) because she has no notes on what they went over. She has a 504 and they are supposed to provide notes, but they don't.

I just have so little energy left, and if they give me bad news, I think I'm going to lose it.
Ellen

[Troy]

So sorry. The reality, I think, for girls in particular is that there comes a point when the material is too challenging for them to compensate for their disorganization or other deficiencies (note taking for your DD). It's amazing to me how long they can get away with it.

And what I wouldn't give for a magic decoder ring that lets me know when it's "can't" versus "won't."

[anniemc2000]

I think you're doing the right thing, that is a significant drop in gpa. Why aren't they providing her the notes as per her 504? Many colleges in our area anyway have a strong student services department to support students of all different needs, so I would try not to worry about any potential labels so much as getting her the help she needs. I hope all goes well.
Ann

[trek]

Make sure the assessment include impact socially-that can affect grades in school for higher functioning. I hope the results lead to help it is NOT easy for many children on the higher end in MOST states/districts. $ is the issues sadly.

1) Write a written letter addressing the failure to provide written notes per 504

2) I know you are going through a lot and I am sending

[danellsar]

Ann- They are supposed to provide notes per her 504, but it's very hit and miss. One teacher doesn't do it at all, another did for a while, then stopped. Yet another teacher claims that notes are not necessary (yeah, right). Been that way all year, and last year, too. I am so overwhelmed with everything I have on my plate now that I have just not followed through. I could probably file against them for not providing services under the 504, but I'm waiting till Weds and see if the IEP might make it all moot.
Ellen

[mickey2]

hi ellen

1st off hugs galore!! i have been pretty quiet lately but look up "twice exceptional" on www.wrightslaw.com

its not uncommon for those on the autism spectrum to have genius level iq's...think the absent minded professor. anyhow, she has rights and you can push for an iep in ap classes. the teacher may not like it but tough noogies to her/him. keep us posted!!

[anniemc2000]

That is frustrating, that they can ignore the 504. I know you have a lot on your plate, I wish things were easier for you and dd. On the other hand, gosh, how did your dd get to be 16? Seems like she was just 11! We went to the state over dd's iep last year and the mediator turned out to be quite helpful, even into this year. Please keep us posted and let us know if we can help.
Ann

[dlp]

So sorry. Just keep on with the herculean task of one foot in front of the other while living in the moment.

I know this sounds along the lines of "I read it on the internet" but NPR just had a piece on the increasing number of kids with Autism going to college and the way colleges are adadpting. So, dom't worry about that now.

Here is my "@ssvice" : I would hire an attorney now. I know funds are super tight, but here is my thinking. Your moments are precious and you time is valuable. An attorney can advise you behind the scenes, maybe even give a you a "Script" to follow in meetings, what to ask for etc, what not to do. If the School doesnt do the plan you propose and it is legally an appropriate plan, then the attorney can swoop in a take whatever legal steps are necessary at a point when you can get some of the fees back. You don't have the luxury of time to play nice and have them stall and have staff be lazy in what they follow and what they don't. they lawyer can take some of the anxiety and worry of this portion of your life off your plate for you. Luckily, you live in Calif which has some of the most liberal\pro student laws in the nation. Use them to your and your dd's advantage

Hugs,
Di