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It has been 11 years---wow! (living child mentioned VERY briefly)

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  • It has been 11 years---wow! (living child mentioned VERY briefly)

    As I sat here and thought about Zane, and how he'd been 11 this year if he lived--I thought to myself---this is the first time since it happened that I didn't post on Grief & Loss. I thought "what difference does it make?" and then I thought--"it makes a big damn difference". 11 years ago I posted HERE for the first time and I made friends---so many friends through INCIID--friends I still have TO THIS DAY.

    I cannot fathom that if my baby had not died at 24 weeks due to a cord accident that I would have an 11 year old son (nearly) How different would my life be? It would be very different.

    It's "funny" in that losing Zane, I gained so many friends, so much support. I have many INCIID memories and am thankful that INCIID exists. I do not know HOW in the HELL I would've ever made it through those first few awful months, and then the raw years that followed.

    Yes, it gets "easier" but I have to say that not a day goes by that I don't have at least a fleeting thought of Zane. He is a part of me--and he is a part of INCIID. He EXISTS here. Real life, not so much...

    My husband remembers, my daughter knows. This year my mom actually remembered THE day--progress I guess.

    For old friends.....I have not forgotten. For anyone new here, I am so so so sorry---it hurts like hell, and it doesn't get better necessarily but it does get "easier" as time passes.

    And for Liz---HI. Hope you are ok.

    Thanks again INCIID...

  • #2
    Hey Dolores

    (((Hugs))) and happy Angelversary Zane. I have not been around in months, many many months. When INCIID changed so much, so many friends.. were sadly lost in the move over. Im not sure why. But I agree, there isnt a day that I dont think about my Marisa, that I dont wonder what life would be like, ect. And how much INCIID became a part of the very fabric that helped hold me together, especially in those first months and years. I saddens me to no end that this board has gone "private" So many who have lost dont come forward but find comfort in reading the words of those who are experiencing the same thoughts, feelings, fears, anguish, sadness, grief, anger... ect. And what a great addition this board experienced when Liz came on. Liz, you have a way with words that is truly a gift and we are so fortunate that you share it with us, helping so many more than what you can imagine. (((hugs and thanks)))
    I may not come around much anymore, but my thoughts are always here, and with the friends I have made from this board.
    And now I sit looking at my memory book, feeling the need to add this:
    With love of the friends I made along the way and in memory of thier beautiful angel babies:
    Madison- sweet little ladybug.
    Tyler and Cassandra
    David Anthony- whose Momma helped me thru so much!
    Gabriel, Sutton, And Baby Colley - whose Mom Ive never met IRL, yet she is one of my best friends now
    Sweet Pea
    Grace & Adam
    and Bobbi's Angel.

    I think of each of you often and look at the pictures and names upon Marisa's memory book in love, sadness, and memory. You all are in my thoughts and prayers, until we see you again.


    • #3

      Just wanted to say some of us are still here and have been an amazing support to so thoughts are with you while



      • #4
        Hi All

        I apologize to all for my absence - sadly my mother died at the end of January and I have been in London for the past several weeks. As some of you might know it has been a tough couple of years my end. I was checking the posts but unable to get back to everybody individually. Please know that although things have been quiet from my end I think of you all often and continue to be amazed by the tremendous kindness that you all show to each other. No child is ever forgotten - no pain unrecognized - no aching heart unsoothed - I hope to be back now with my usual consistency - warmest to all Liz


        • #5

          My many, many sympathies. Im so sorry. Please take care of yourself, and know that we are here for you too. Sending you many, many big cyber hugs and lots of prayers.