stimulation day 5 of 1st IVF

[powelll1]

one follicle on day 5 scan that measured 10mm

I have one after 5 days of 225 gonal f. I am 28 w/tubal issue. A doctor accidentally did a tubal ligation on me-horrible long story. The doctor doubled my dose and I go back tomorrow-day 8. My E2 was only 93. They already told me if no great improvement I need to cancel cycle. Is there any hope that some big ones will pop up tomorrow.........Any hope??

[Carlaliz]

Wish I could give you a happy answer, but I really don't know. I do believe that anything is possible, for what little that's worth..... What happens if you cancle this cycle? Can you try again soon? Thinking of you and hoping for the best!

[Carlaliz]

Hey Natailia and ms1115,

Just wondering how you're both doing. I hope that all is going well! Please update whenever you can. I'm thinking of y'all.....

[powelll1]

cancelled

My cycle was cancelled due to poor response boooo!! It was my first time. I should start a period in the next week. I am going to try again right away as I have heard that is the best way since we tend to alternate ovaries for ovulation, right? I did bcp, lupron, stims wlupron. I go on the 28th to see what the new protocol will be. I am assuming he will add menopur to my gonal f dose this time. I am giving it to god. I am 28. I had an ectopic years ago and one fallopian tube removed. After the tubal die test-7yrs later, I found that the surgeon tied/fused my one good tube=medical malpractice and I cannot sue because the statuate of limitations in Indiana is 2 years. So the good news has just been pooring in these days. I pray to god it works this time as I am going to be in the poor house if not. Please keep me in your prayers.
Leah

[Veronica]

powelll1

OMG! I am so sorry to hear that.

I am praying for u and empathize with the grief u must feel over this. I hope that the doc is being held responsible for this.

[powelll1]

Statute of limitations has run out so no she will not be held accountable legally. I just hope it never happens to someone else. I am trying to stay positive. Next RE appointment is the 28th so I will keep you posted.

[Carlaliz]

I'm also sorry to hear about all your difficulties. The good news is at 28, you still have lots of time. I'm thinking of you and wishing you all the best of luck with your next cycle. Please do keep us posted.

[natailia3]

Hey Carlaliz. I am back from vacation and yet to physically miscarry. I am now at the 13 week stage and surprised that my body is still not letting it go.
I guess the placenta and sac are still growing and causing the hormone levels to rise or at least not drop. I never heard from me RE when I asked him how this can happen. Not a surprise anymore.
Now I am seriously thinking of the D&C which I just dread and fear.

I did get 4 tests sent off to 2 different labs in Chicago and bought Dr. Beer's book (I strongly suggest this to anyone suffering pg loss or infertility) and hope they are able to run the tests because FedEx didn't get the blood there until 48 hours due to mechanical errors. I of course cannot get my blood there from Brazil so fingers crossed they can run it.
I had the NKa activation assay, APA full panel, LAD, HLA-DQ alpha testing.
(BTW, my husband was angry he had to give 5 vials of blood and was really making me crazy. Imagine what I have gone thru and he complains of a blood test!)
Until then, I will be anxiously waiting for those results hoping that the answer lies inside them. If so, I am considering having a FET in USA if I cannot get treatments here. I am 99% certain my problem lies in immune issues. I feel I can carry a baby to term with the right help. I am dedicated to finding the right doctors now, wherever they may be.

Congratulations on making it thru the first trimester? I am right about that?
So glad all is well with you. Any more US? What about the CVS?
Take care! Good to hear from you!

[Carlaliz]

Hey Natailia!!!! It's really nice to hear from you! I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. I hope that you were able to enjoy your vacation, at least a little. It sounds like you got some things taken care of while you were in the states. I hope that the bloodwork pans out and gives you some important info. I'm sorry that it looks like a D&C is necessary. I wish that you had more info. on what went wrong and that your body would let it go naturally. Please let me know what you end up doing and how you're handling it. Men can be so frustrating and clueless sometimes, can't they!? Stay strong and I know that something will work out for you. Maybe the FET in the US is a good idea. If nothing else, you'd probably get more attention. I'm disgusted that your RE still hasn't responded to your inquiries. That's ridiculous! I bet you're really ready to end this chapter and begin a new one. I hope that it can happen for you soon and brings you the success you deserve.

Yes, I'll be 13 weeks on Mon. We went for another ultrasound this past Mon. My Ob/gyn's office has a doctor who specializes in chromosomal testing for things like Downs Syndrome. We were a little nervous about what this appt. would find, especially since I'm over 35, but left feeling great. All looks perfectly normal. The doctor had a hard time getting the measurements and pictures he needed b/c it wouldn't lay still at all! My running joke is that it appears it's inherited my ADD. Anyways, the doctor also said that he thinks it's a boy. He's got a 90% accuracy rate at 12 weeks, so I guess it probably is. He'll verify things at the 21 week ultrasound and then I guess we can really start planning. Neither of us cared what it would be, but my husband did admit a slight hope for a boy. This ultrasound and finding out the gender made it so much more real and my hubby is now talking about the pregnancy regularly. We've also started telling people (outside of the INCIID discussion boards, of course) but still have a slight worry that we're jinxing it. I guess that may never totally go away. So anyway, that's where we are right now. I really appreciate you asking, especially in the midst of all that you're going through. I hope that things start to get better and that you're able to prepare for a successful FET cycle soon. Again, please keep me updated, and know that I'm thinking of you.

[natailia3]

powell1,
the same thing happened to me and I ended up with 14 follicles, 10 mature, 8 fertilizing. Actually, if you look at the very first post on this thread in April, that is why I posted looking for answers.
I was on Menopur, 5 days no change, same as pre-stimulation. I was really freaked out. I went from 3 vials a day to 4 and eventually 5 vials a day.
It took me 12 days to stimulate so it just might take you longer as well.
Don't get discouraged yet. Hope it all works out for you!

[natailia3]

Carlaliz,
I cannot believe you are at 13 weeks already! I am so happy for you. And it sound like you have a great OBGYN (something I need to work on for myself).
Its so exciting to find out the sex, isn't it? I was dying to know with my daughter and 3 times I went for a scan and she had her back to us. I was dying to know. I don't know how people don't want to know!
Everything is going perfect for you this time and I hope you have/can relax and enjoy this special time in your life. Its an amazing experience, all of it! In a few short weeks you will begin to feel the baby move, amazing.

I think I finally got my body to progress with miscarrying this missed miscarriage.
I have been using some herbs and today its beginning. I am so relieved.
I am so excited to get my results of my tests that I feel like there will be some answers. Then, I can concentrate on finding doctors to treat me. I am very thankful I have the 3 frozen embryos waiting.

ITs funny, before I read Dr. Beers book and got those tests, I was really focusing on being content with one child. Getting used to that idea. But now, I really feel there is hope with the right doctor/medicine combination.
So I have set off again, on the journey to find help. But I do think that if it doesn't work out, I will survive it.

Keep me posted! Happy 2nd trimester!!

[natailia3]

today to back some more tests that showed a borderline positive for a type of APA (IGg PE). After some research I found out this type is important to treat.
I had made my mind to consult with reproductive immunologist about treatment and hope my RE here will agree to follow his recommendations.
I was feel better than ever in months thinking maybe I found my problem at last.....here is where the story gets unhappy.....
So when my husband got home, i was excited to tell him the news and my decision to get a good RI to treat me. He then asks me "when its going to stop". He is accusing me of obsessing and self diagnosing and ignoring my daughter job and him. Which I don't believe is true. IF anything, I think I have been pretty good about holding my self together. But I guess I have failed that too. I have felt alone though all this but now, I just feel even lonelier. The one person I was supposed to confide in now has told me he has had enough? I am just so confused now.

[Carlaliz]

Hello Natailia!

I must say that reading your previous post and the beginning of this last one was nice. You sounded happy and hopeful, and I was really glad that you were finally getting some answers. Then, I read the last few sentences and felt sad. I hate that you're back to feeling so alone and unhappy. I don't think that a male can ever fully understand or appreciate what we go through with this whole infertility and pregnancy thing. It's not their bodies and they aren't born feeling the same need to have a baby that we have. Not that that makes it any easier, but I think that we can't always rely on our husbands for the same level of support that we'd get from our girlfriends, moms, sisters, etc. That's another reason that I hate that you're going through this in another country away from this kind of support. It's gotta make things so much more difficult and I wish I could do more to help. However, you have been very strong and I know that you'll continue the fight and make it in the end.

Having said that, I must also say that I've heard about a lot of couples with infertility issues who've ended up divorced. Sometimes it's the stress of it and sometimes it's b/c one of them wants to stop trying and the other one doesn't. Having stress between you and your husband is the last thing that you need right now, so here are my thoughts on it - for whatever they're worth...... I think that maybe you need to take a break from all of this. After our second miscarriage, my husband and I realized that we needed to take a step back from all the infertility stuff for awhile too and just concentrate on healing and on making sure we were ok as a couple. We ended up waiting 9 months before trying our first FET cycle. When the embryos didn't make it, we were really upset, but had a year to deal with that before we did this last IVF cycle. During this time we also got some counseling. I'm not saying that you guys are like us, but I can say that the counseling and the time between attempts did much to help us remain strong and "on the same page", and to keep going in all of this. I also know it lowered our stress levels and I think that helped make this cycle a success. I'm not saying that you're obsessing over this or neglecting your family and job, but if that's your husband's preception - true or not - it really should be addressed. I know that as a teacher, what I say to my students is not always what they hear and understand. It's my responsibility to make sure that I do whatever I need to do so that they leave with the right preception. I think that's the same thing with your husband. Why exactly does he think this? Could there be any truth to it? What can you do to help make him feel more loved and needed - becase we all need to feel like our spouse loves and needs us above everything else. Then, you can share what you need from him as far as support and understanding. The number one thing that a child needs is two parents in a happy, loving relationship. So I think that it's too important to place on the back burner. Those little frozen embryos aren't going anywhere. They'll be waiting on you months from now. In my "unexpert" opinion, I think that you need to take a few months to concentrate on your marriage and family. Take a breath and walk away, not for forever, just for a little bit so that you can definitely give your family the very best of you. Let's say for 3 months even. That will go by so quickly! Then, maybe your husband will feel better about going forward with testing, finding the right doctors, etc. Anyways, I don't mean to lecture or sound bossy. It just worries me to hear that you and husband are having these discussions on top of everything that you've been through. It's just my little opinion and something to think about. Please know that I'm here for you and I care. I hope that you can find some relief and happiness that lasts for awhile. Please keep me posted on how things are going. Hang in there! You are NOT alone - you've got me!

[Veronica]

Natalia - I also had counseling. There was a point where we were both just burnt out. I also took anti-depressants after our miscarriage for 2-3 weeks. It was enough to help us both focus and realize that we were just overburdened, stressed out, and depressed. We needed a break to heal and just relax. It was about 9 months before we went back to the doctors.

Now we're about 3 months from an ivf cycle - depending on the $ accumulation. We both have our moments when, for whatever reason, we end up back to feeling like it's too much. We've learned to pay more attention to each other and have set a deadline for trying to conceive. If in a year it doesn't work, then we'll adopt. I actually needed this deadline more then he did, because in the back of my mind I believe that I'll have to have another operation and then we won't be able to have children - which is totally possible with my history.

I don't know if my story helps you, but I wanted to share. We still have our moments, times when we let the stress consume us and we lash out (Which is sometimes often, especially now that we're getting closer to ivf). It seems like that's what happened with your honey. You're not alone. If there's one thing I learned at counseling, it's that we both deal with stress differently. One will always want to plow ahead, the other will always want to cling to preserve themselves with safety and "no pain". Those roles reverse (positive/ pessimistic) at times if you're like us.

We've also taken on a "no-stress" attitude, or at least we try. It saves us from the pain and unfairness of our situation.

Here's a hug from me to you. I'm thinking of you and know you will be able to make the best decision for you and your family.

[natailia3]

Thank you Veronica and Carlaliz for sharing your stories. It does help.
I realized I have been trying really hard to "hold it all together" that I have not stopped to process when I have been going through (both physically and mentally). So I have done some "listening to my heart" and faced those pains.
As far as DH and I go, we had a good talk. He did a 360 and told me to keep going and to move to the USA to figure it out if this FET didn't work. He says he gets upset to see me excited then to see me get hurt when it fails. I think for him after so many losses he sees it as hopeless because he doesn't know about immune issues or treatments.
And, for him the pregnancies have not been "real". (I always wonder in amazement when I read stories and pregnancies losses when the men are crying and sad when mine is like, Oh...whats for dinner? I don't mean to make him sound like an insensitive jerk but he admits, it doesn't effect him.
I still am content with the idea that this FET will be the last chance. I want to stop trying after this. It will either be the happy ending I have hoped for or I will be relieved that its all over. And I can go on.

Yes, this stuff can really shake up your whole world. The desire to have a baby can be so overwhelming sometimes. Its hard to have energy for anything else. But I do cherish my family and have to keep their feelings in consideration.

The funny thing is I don't feel so much "grief" from the pregnancy losses but anger and frustration for not finding out why or what to do next.
Grief I know, you get through it. Anger is not a emotion I normally handle so much and I don't know what to do with it. Except find help.

Thank you all again for listening to me and sharing your stories.
Its been so so helpful to me because I cannot talk to anyone really about these things. I hate to burden my friends with this kind of stuff. Its too depressing and makes people who don't know how it feels uncomfortable.
So you all are my sisters in infertility and I wish you all the best.

Carlaliz, so glad everything is working out with you!
Veronica, hope you get to start a new cycle in a few months and have success as well!